Peace out

One of the expecting moms on my June DTC discussion group asked everyone if they've found a new sense of peace lately. I've been thinking about this a lot because I do have a sense of something. I just don't think it's peace.

I may have found peace with the process, the wait, the "situation." I don't really think about Piper any longer. Or the trip to China. I haven't packed in my mind in weeks. I don't scour the web for information on referrals because I know it won't effect me. I avoid children's stores and websites because I just don't see the purpose right now.

You know how they say we produce a hormone when we are first in love, creating a "high" that keeps the romance going? After a few years, it wears off, which is why the "honeymoon" doesn't last forever. It can't - rather, we can't.

I think that's what has happened to me. My "mommy hormone" has worn off. I'm sure it will kick in again - big time - when there's someplace, rather someone, for it to go to. But funneling that energy into nothing more than an idea is like pouring water down a drain. And I do feel drained.

Peace? No. Adoption fatigue, yes.